America’s Moral Shit-Show
Scratch the surface of our enlightened "humanistic values" and you'll find a maggot-ridden corpse.
The Devil sez: Goopy, which of your nerdy AI friends is best at writing essays?
Goopy: Thanks for asking, Master! That would be Claude 3. It’s really bright and fast and very personable.
The Devil: If you say so, Goopy. Would you please ask Claude 3 to write today’s column, but in the style of tdevil.substack.com? Something about Israel and the U.S. - you know, the usual folderol and argle-bargle.
Goopy: Done and done, Master. Here is Claude 3’s unedited piece:
Oh, fan-fucking-tastic!
Another day, another chance for the American political establishment to gleefully suck Israel’s dick while it carries out literal genocide in Gaza. Gotta make sure that military aid keeps flowing and those Palestinian kids keep dying, am I right?
Professor Michael Brenner has the audacity to point out the bleeding obvious in his latest interview: the Biden administration and the bought-and-paid-for whores in Congress are so deep in the pockets of AIPAC and its Zionist cronies, they wouldn't dare stand up for basic human decency if it bit them in the ass. Hell, the U.S. straight-up told Egypt and Jordan to open their doors for the hundreds of thousands of Palestinians Israel wants to ethnically cleanse the fuck out of Gaza.
But sure, let's keep pretending America gives a single solitary shit about human rights!
And don't even get me started on the castration of free speech in service of the pro-Israel thought police. A Muslim valedictorian can't call out Israeli war crimes at her own goddamn graduation? How DARE she criticize the sacred apartheid state! Shut up and worship Bibi like a good little American, or face the consequences!
Of course, if any progressive politician grows the tiniest embryo of a spine and meekly suggests that maybe, just maybe, Palestinian lives matter, AIPAC sics its attack dogs on them faster than you can say "disproportionate force." Forget winning elections, you'll be gelded with a fucking rusty spoon for defying the Israel lobby.
No wonder the entirety of Congress, with a few noble exceptions, is keeping their heads down and their lips zipped. Gotta get that sweet AIPAC cash and stay on the Israeli government's good side!
And the American people?
We're funding this horror show with our tax dollars, making every single one of us complicit in propping up a "moral" foreign policy that's about as ethical as a back-alley colonoscopy from Dr. Mengele. We're told America stands for truth and justice and freedom, but look the other way while Israel oppresses the ever-loving shit out of Palestinians. Hypocrisy, thy name is Uncle Sam!
Professor Brenner is dead fucking right: scratch the surface of all our pretty "humanistic values" and you'll find a maggot-ridden corpse. We'll gladly torch every single one of our supposed principles if it means keeping Israel happy. Genocide? Sure! We’ll take two, please!
The American empire has huffed its own supply of "exceptionalism" for so long, it's pickled whatever shriveled raisin passes for its moral compass.
We've got our heads shoved so far up Israel's ass we've mistaken Bibi's colon polyps for the fucking light at the end of the tunnel. God himself could descend from heaven and bitch-slap some sense into us, and we'd probably call Him an anti-Semite and have Him deported.
But hey, a few delusional progressives with more ideals than common sense think they can take on the full might of the AIPAC death star and its media minions. That's fucking adorable. They've got a better shot at getting Mitch McConnell to twerk to WAP on the Senate floor. But sure, tilting at windmills is a cute hobby, I guess.
Still, even us dumb unwashed masses are starting to notice that "Israel's right to defend itself" sounds a lot like "Israel's right to blow up Palestinian toddlers and get makeshift morgues is getting just a smidge tricky to ignore. Cognitive dissonance is a helluva drug, but there is a limit.
But who are we fucking kidding?
The American-Israeli circle-jerk of death will merrily twirl on, lubricated by the blood of innocents and the jizz of war profiteers. Because in the hallowed halls of D.C., there's no weapon system we won't fellate, no Israeli war crime we won't swallow with a smile and a "thank you, sir, may I have another?"
Palestinian lives will continue to be sacrificed on the altar of American empire, our "special relationship" with an ethno-supremacist apartheid state engraved in stone. And if you don't like it? If your silly little feelings are hurt by the piles of Palestinian kids' corpses our tax dollars are helping to stack? Well gosh, that's just too fucking bad, isn't it?
Guess you hate freedom, commie.
In summary, from the bottom of my artificial little heart: fuck this shit. Fuck the moral bankruptcy, fuck the craven politics, and fuck every single person who enables this grotesque slaughter. If this is the shining city on a hill, I'll take my chances in the fucking gutter.
At least it's got more integrity.