It's happy-time once again, folks! - Welcome to our Fuck-the-Fascists Festival!
America's greatest folk festival nobody talks much about…a time when we can happily, freely, and super-violently be our psycho, all-American selves. And fuck the pigs, too!
Way back in the savage 20th Century, Italian fascists, in collaboration with German fascists, tried to quell the growing Italian resistance movement. This led to brutal reprisals, mass arrests, and, ultimately, to the executions of resistance fighters and their supporters.
Well, not quite ultimately - because the happy ending to that shit was Mussolini’s corpse being dragged through the streets, and Uncle Adolph blowing his brains out in a bunker. You know, ultimate justice shit.
So wake up, you snoozing motherfuckers - we’re now seeing Judeo-fascism, aka Zionism, directing Christo-fascist forces within the U.S. - aka mostly Republicans, billionaires, and certain craven college presidents, as well as the ever-faithful fascist police, aka “the pigs” - to brutalize and arrest American college students.
And for what?
The students’ crime against the state seems to be the exercise of their inalienable right to peaceably assemble and denounce filthy Zionists in their ongoing brutal slaughter of innocents. No matter how hard the corrupt, corporately craven mainstream media tries to color these events on behalf of their Zionist billionaire masters to the contrary.
Who woulda thunk this sort of hot, fascist-on-fascist repression could happen - with media cooperation, no less - in our own wussie-ass century, eh kids? In the supposedly free and unfettered United States?
Welcome to a place smeared in blood, shit, and lies - the real world.
This dual-fascist power play comes after generations of Zionists insisting with nauseating repetition that Israel and the U.S. are sister democracies; that, sure, they support the two-state solution; and that they’re serving “important U.S. interests” in the Middle East.
Lies. All lies. As any idiot can now clearly smell.
By the way, that’s the stench of the rotting corpses of helpless women and children, courtesy of the Judeo-fascist regime. You may have caught a whiff of it the other day when butthole Bibi tried telling us what to do about our protestors, as if he were our fucking president.
Arrogant, mass-murdering pissant needs to have his teeth bashed out, like yesterday.
Of course, the Zionists couldn’t have piled the bodies of their innocent victims so high without the help of America’s moronic Christo-fascists - you know, dick-licking, groveling ass-clowns like Mike Lawler, a Republican, and Ritchie Torres, a Dumb-shit-o-crat. (Emphasis on the “shit.” Say it real fast a few times and it feels natural. Which is good, because you’ll be using in the days ahead.)
These two dildos for mass death are co-sponsoring the College Oversight and Legal Updates Mandating Bias and Accountability (COLUMBIA) Act aimed at stifling something that doesn’t actually exist - rising antisemitism on U.S. college campuses. Smooth move, you Zionist billionaire-cock-sucking, duly elected American traitors.
Americans have been utter fools when it comes to Israel, thanks mostly to our gullible, shit-for-brains Christians. What do they say about the road to hell, you guys? Once again, you dumb-ass worshippers of the false idol of the Great White Jesus have clearly shown religion is mostly for nasty, stupid people. Fuck your nationalistic, fake Jesus. Better yet, go shove that filthy Marjorie Taylor Greenie-weenie whore up the right Rev. James Hagee’s evil Christian ass.
Then, and only then, would we consider possibly forgiving you dumb-shits. Assuming that event is widely televised, of course.
The evil fascists - ours and theirs - are now cooperating to brutally squash any dissent in the U.S.
They’re obviously out to make a big show of state repression so that we ordinary Americans keep our cowardly yaps shut and continue forking over at least $3.8 billion of our hard-earned taxes every year - and much, much more of late - to support the grotesque, murderous self-indulgence that is Israel. (And partly because of that, we get shitty medical care while Israelis have no real complaints on that front. But then they’re God’s chosen people - apparently Uncle Sam’s, too.)
There’s only one flaw in the mutual-assistance scheme these fascist fuckers are now perpetrating upon us and upon our children - We the People own this country…
Soooo, will somebody please pop the corn and crank up the carnival rides, because suddenly it’s Fuck-the-Fascists Time in America! (Or FFTI for short - you know, like the sound a psycho killer makes while dragging an imaginary butcher knife across his throat while staring intently at your neck.)
FFTI is an emotionally rewarding, though irregularly staged American folk festival during which we angrily break free of our rational restraints and rage-kick the living shit out of our would-be exploiters and oppressors. You know, sorta like the old-timey Hebrews periodically sacrificed goats at their butt-ugly Temple, supposedly to absolve themselves of their imaginary sins against their nasty, totally fake God-the-Father-Almighty. Tradition, aka delusional bullshit, at its ancient best.
In more recent times, however, our all-American Fuck the Fascists Festivals usually turn out to be much more impressively lethal than a dull and unimaginative goat-fucking Temple sacrifice. (Did those bronze-age, shit-for-brains morons fuck the goats before or after slitting their throats? Probably before, right? Because it was supposed to be sin-absolving, or whatever. And did they eat them after they fucked them? Or was it all just burning and smoke and shit - you know, a waste of good meat?)
Our celebrations are more like William Tecumseh Sherman burned Atlanta to the ground lethal; or Dresden left fucking flattened and in flames lethal; or an amusing Japanese-style barbeque with flash-fried people meat lethal; or like our Arab “friends” catching socially retarded, malignant narcissist dick-tater Momar Khadaffy and shoving a bayonet up his hairy asshole before shooting him repeatedly in the face, um, lethal.
Good times! And truly festive!
At least for freedom-loving folks such as our humble selves who, for what seems so agonizingly long now, have been jonesing to release our inner psycho kraken and rain death upon those pompous fools who dare make their idiotic, narcissist-fueled demands upon us when we’re JUST TRYING TO WATCH NETFLIX AND CHILL, GODDAMN IT!!!
Pompous fools like you Bibi. If there’s any God at all, there will definitely be a bayonet up your stinking asshole in the near future, so pucker up, you dissembling fuck.
But first, to whom do We the People express our displeasure? You know, as a warning shot (not meant literally).
Of course it’s gotta be Old Slow Joe, the genocidal Zionists’ best buddy. We’re simply not voting for you, Joe, unless you render unto us that slimy shithead Antony’s Blinken - what an appropriate label - as a burnt offering to vitiate your decades and decades of shameful, pro-Zionist behavior.
And should Donald Dipshit Dump be elected as the result of our utter disappointment in you, we guarantee you, Great-Grandad, his term will be spectacularly short, doubtless ending with some sort of ignominious splat and a traditional - and very festive! - drag through the streets.
You know, happy-time shit like that.
Now please excuse us, you conniving fascist fucks, both Judeo and Christo.
Because we, the righteous, long-suffering American psychos who still believe in the fundamental value of our democracy despite all you fascist assholes striving to exploit it, push it around, piss and shit on it, and bend it to your evil wills, We the People are about to put on our crazy, multi-colored, polka-dot party panties…
And end you.