Let’s Rock!
Donald Dump may have his own personally approved Bible, but we have rocks. Lots of rocks. And fire.
Is it clear now?
The 2024 election is really all about the revenge of the Bible Belt.
As evidenced by Christo-Fascist Party presidential candidate Donald Dipshit Dump hawking his “personally approved” version of the Holy Shitshow Bible along with his sing-along partner, Lee “God Bless the USA,” Greenwood.
A mere $59.99, not including shipping and other feces, er fees.
Verily, I say unto thee - this is precisely like watching monkeys discovering they can throw shit directly at you, instead of just smearing themselves with it. Or, as America’s Top Con Man, the Blond Believer, the thrice-married, serial-cheating, prostitute-fucking, Jeffrey Epstein pal, and pussy-grabbing, civilly adjudicated rapist sez:
“Religion and Christianity are the biggest things missing from this country, and I truly believe that we need to bring them back. It’s one of the biggest problems we have. That’s why our country’s going haywire - we’ve lost religion in our country.”
I guess Dumpy wants us to be more like Israel, a perfectly well-ordered theocracy where everything is running smoothly.
Wow. Obviously, somehow, we’re all on drugs.
And that’s only when he farts from his mouth. Can you imagine the sulfurous fumes emanating from his Mar-a-Lardo bilge-pump asshole? Unfortunately, yes we can: Reportedly, the Dumpster is opening his goon rallies these days with a patriotic song recorded by the Jan. 6 “horribly persecuted” insurrectionist “martyrs.”
So much for the rule of law.
Turns out, the late conservative political pundit Kevin Phillips sorta predicted this shit would happen. Well, maybe not so comedically - nobody could have imagined such a bizarre cast of errant, dangerous kooks, from the Dumpster on down.
Phillips wrote a great book in 2006 - American Theocracy: The Peril and Politics of Radical Religion, Oil, and Borrowed Money in the 21st Century. He actually warned the nation was at risk of becoming a theocracy, where religious dogma dictates government policies and infringes on democratic principles like the separation of church and state.
But there is no chrome-dome genius pundit anywhere who could have possibly envisioned a major presidential candidate pitching his own official Holy Bible in 2024.
It’s like our Master Matrix Programmer read Phillips’ book and also saw Mike Judge’s classic film “Idiocracy” based on the classic sci-fi novella “The Marching Morons,” by Cyril Kornbluth, and then fucked with reality accordingly.
Back in 2006 Phillips critiqued the Bush administration's policies, particularly regarding the Iraq War, and suggested Republicans’ close ties with the religious right and the oil industry contributed to the decision to invade Iraq.
It has all come to pass more or less as Phillips, who died last year, prognosticated and explained.
Basically, he posited the American South, defeated in the Civil War but never properly slapped down during Reconstruction, had for more than 130 years been attempting to take over the nation via a grassroots religious movement. Phillips believed the presidential victory of George W. Bush cemented that conquest; he was dead-bang correct.
The recent video of Dump hawking his personally approved Bible merely confirms the South, however one defines that sloppy bucket of immoral shit these days, has largely succeeded in its mission. What began under cover of a massive cultural makeover has now become a bald-faced, attempted takeover.
While America’s political and moral rot moved with glacial slowness for the past century and a half, one ignorant white-racist soul at a time, the Internet greatly accelerated the process of late and has revealed to the millions of dissatisfied, angry white racists how many of them there really are - about 1/3 of the voting population, according to reasonable estimates.
What should rationality-based citizens do now to defend and preserve American democracy?
First of all, we should take a deep breath. Because this is gonna be fun.
Do we merely stand back and watch as the marching morons of Christo-fascism fuck up everything they touch, like their fearless leader, Preacher Dump, has somehow managed to fuck up the life of nearly every professional person who’s supported or worked for him? Like he’s now totally fucked up that shitty group of scammers and assholes formerly known as the Republican Party?
It’s tempting, very tempting, just to sit an watch.
But watching a malignant narcissist CEO chew through a corporation, like Elon Musk has ripped through Twitter, is one thing; allowing a personality-disordered, scum-sucking pig like Dump to destroy an entire nation is quite another.
Nope. We must go to war.
Since Dump’s ascension to the presidency in 2016, the late-night comedy kings have been increasingly vicious in their critiques of Dumpy and the Christo-fascists. But pointed humor, the modern-day, cynical equivalent of a strongly worded letter, is not enough.
We must act up.
Every single time one of these Christo-fascist ass plugs opens his or her facial poop-chute, decent Americans should scream at them. And throw rocks.
I mean it. Actual screams and actual rocks.
The first person to bean Donald Dipshit Dump with a good-sized, well-hurled rock will be lionized as a national hero. A modern-day David bopping a Goliath-sized pile of shit. Man, that would be fun to watch over and over on the big screen until all the hysterical laughter gives way to a torrent of bitter tears over the sorry state of our once-proud, though utterly delusional, nation.
And we don’t have to focus solely on the Big Blond Kahuna of Christo-fascism. There are plenty of subhuman shit piles to target in our own humble cities and towns. Out here in the sticks of Arizona, for example, we have a Christo-fascist vaginal infection known as Kari Lake.
It’s reassuring to note that no one has burned down her house yet. No one has shot her dog. So, there’s still plenty of opportunity for straight-thinking, rational Arizonans to deal with this wicked political witch the very same way our fine, Christian ancestors dealt with evil back in Old Salem times. Well, actually, most Salem witches were hanged. But some were burned. And Kari deserves the finest, most painful treatment possible. Burning it is, then.
While that may sound like an evil deed, remember - this is the diseased cunt who has flagrantly defended those prosecuted and convicted for their riotous assault on our capitol, referring to these traitorous scum as “political prisoners,” and expressing support for individual goons involved in the attack, including those who spread misinformation about the 2020 election - which, of course, she maintains was rigged.
Just this Tuesday past, Lake revealed she will not defend the comments at the heart of a defamation lawsuit brought against her by Maricopa County Recorder Stephen Richer. She untruthfully alleged he “intentionally sabotaged” the most recent gubernatorial election she lost fair and square to Katie Hobbs.
Now, Lake is effectively admitting she spread lies about Richer and did so with actual malice. One can only hope the judge will kick her right in her smelly, Christo-fascist cunt when determining damages.
But that shouldn’t preclude patriotic Arizonans from throwing rocks at her windows.
It’s high time, true Americans:
Let’s rock this joint!